Do not criticize yourself, ever. If you knew how to do things differently, you would.
Continue to try constantly to discern a more loving way to live, for that is the eternal quest. However, do not beat yourself up for not having done better in the past. That is such a waste of time and precious energy. If you had known differently then, you would have behaved differently.
So, embrace the preciousness of this now moment and create from now, all the while actively loving and encouraging yourself with full confidence along the way.
Take yourself lovingly by the hand and, with faith, hope and trust, lead yourself forwards.